Cock lights

Well this one is easy after a while away.

Was with a mate the other day and he was looking to buy a new Ford Focus. This was all fine and dandy until the salesman mentioned what updates are being put into the new version of the Focus.

All he managed to get out of his mouth was, “You know those lights that Audi have on their c…” before I nearly choked on my own vomit!

Now those little beads of LED lights look great on an R8, or perhaps a slinky A6 or something, but a Focus!! Cmon?

I even saw the damn things on a Citroen the other day, and to make matters worse, they were sodding vertical!! What’s going on there?

Simply put, they are a fad. Marketing dicks know that sad people buy cars on looks and trinkets and sadly some people will probably only buy a car unless it has cock lights fitted.

They dont serve a purpose but I need to do more research to find out if they come on automatically or if the majority of women (for it is them that always have them turned on) are trying to blind every other motorist and say “look at me, please look at me, you can’t see me boobs, but I am still here, look!”

Either way, shall we christen them Audi cock lights or just cock lights? Because pretty soon you are going to be able to get them in Halfords and you can maybe already get them as standard on a Hyundai or Kia!

Vorsprung Durch Cock!!